Log in

˙˙˙ɹǝsoןɔ ʇoן ǝןoɥʍ ɐ ʇoƃ ʇsnɾ uɹnʇɐs ǝʞıן sʞooן˙˙˙ [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | ¡oɯɐןqɐʞ ʇou=ǝɔɐdsʎɯ ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[23 Sep 2010|04:53am]
i think i'm forcing myself to be happy, because i feel like i should be happy. but really, i feel like a lazy fucking bum with no job, no money. and really, the only thing that makes me happy anymore is my involvement with the chiptune scene...but i'm tired of just being on the sidelines...i want some action. but i am so untalented.

granddad doesn't remember saying i could go around the world, been seriously depressing me for longer than a month. He told me he just doesn't have the money anymore. He's willing to pay half, but...shit. instead of finding a job to pay for it, i just did nothing. i KILLED myself last year, 51 credits...because i thought i'd be around the world this time next month. i dont want it to be in vain.

My parents said they'd pay for my half but I'd feel seriously bad...i don't think they were expecting my uncle to have a hard time finding a job, and now they're concerned because his family is coming in 2 weeks and he doesnt have a GED so no one is hiring him. My parents don't know how they can afford to pay for his family to eat...so i dunno. I just feel like a selfish brat to make them pay for me.

Makes me want to get a job and kinda help them out instead of paying for an rtw? i dont want to be spoiled...but its such a large sacrifice.

i'm thinking i'll spend the time working and doing stupid jobs, meanwhile putting out an EP, i really need to get on that. I'm getting a mssiah for my c64, so that'll help my pump. if i focus on music maybe i can distract myself until my uncle has a job and his own place so i won't feel bad about my parents paying for my shit...i think maybe that's the best call...just feel it out at home until things are ok, then take off..?
ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[31 Aug 2010|02:42am]
I retract what i said about Clinton--He only sought out my forgiveness because he had been sleeping with my best friend. he sought forgiveness so he could continue banging her guilt free. oh well. i'll go back to treating clinton the way i was, which was him not existing. but julie, oh man. her fate will be much more painful, i hope.

oh wait, she's just gonna run away to new york with him and never have to deal with how big of a piece of shit she is/they are. she'll find a new group of friends who'll think shes adorable and trust her and she'll just fuck everyone over slowly. and no one will say shit for years. and everythign is grand once again for julie fucking tran, the girl who never gets held accountable for anything. well fuck you. you made your choice, and there's nothing you can say to me to make me understand why you think thats a path you should explore. it's called self restraint, but oh i forgot, you never had that before, why on earth would you ever consider anyone else's feelings now? how dare i think you matured into a decent 23 year old. i'm so damn blind, i see what i want to.

leah was shocked i wasn't angry and emotional, she saw how numb i was. and that speaks loudly to us--i wasn't surprised, i wasn't mad, just accepted that julie's done this kinda shit before and i always forgave her, but this is unforgivable. theres nothing she can say or do to justify what she did. i mean, julie dated clinton's best friend for 3 years, and within a month is doing this to hurt the two closest people to her? jamie is so pissed and scared, he said he's next in line to get fucked over.

i was really fucking happy to have forgiven clinton, but she's ruined any kind of peace i got from that and made the hole deeper.

"Feeling good and good feelings is what I am about.
I want to be your friend. I'm sure we have a lot we can learn from each other."

biggest lie i've ever heard in my life, but i guess i did learn a lot about betrayal and deception, thanks BEST FRIEND FOR OVER A DECADE WOO

i hate you more than i ever hated clinton, and i will never, ever forgive you. why couldn't you talk to me to my face like an adult, you had to give me a stupid letter? if you know what you were doing, why did you continue? your justifications for doing what you did to jeremy are bullshit. ask anyone. are you a sociopath? hedonistic? just a cunt? do i care? all i know is that you are purged. i'm making this entry public so you can see what a piece of shit you are. even if jeremy wasn't totally awesome, which he fucking was, i don't understand what i ever did to you.

ps. everyone's talking about it, they are piecing together all of your lies and deceit. you've been dicking around with EVERYONE to hide your bullshit
1 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

jack of all trades, master of none [27 Aug 2010|06:51pm]
i'm making a list of all my hobbies/skills/interests so i can go through one at a time and master them

circuit bending
c64 programming
pixel art
art in general
6 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

top 10 video games to have sex to? [10 Aug 2010|01:05am]

SO, I'm sure any gamer has thought about it, tried it even. But there's no top 10 list that exists!
I want to compile a list of the top 10 video games to play while having sex. I've been thinking about my choices, but I wanna know your thoughts.

Consider boss fights, interest level, destruction, sex games like drinking games, foreplay distractions, 1 player or 2 player games, anything, everything.
Be creative, but I want to know the truly best games for this. Feel free to explain why or list a specific level, or if you have any past experiences, or whatever.

Suggestions i've heard before posting to give you ideas: Mario 3, Galacta, REZ, Pacman, Rock Band/Guitar Hero

My list before asking was:
5. Call of Duty
4. Fable
3. Soul Calibur
2. Katamari
1. Tetris (2 player battle)

Buuut i wanna hear yours, and then combine it into an awesome top 10, top 20, or whatever list. Then if there's duplicate answers, then we know there's something "deeper" to the game.

This is open to the public, so feel free to post even if I dont know you, or do it anonymously. Afterwards, please pass it on to your gamer friends. Let's make this good.
9 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

finally feeling really good! [18 Apr 2010|04:27am]
Every music festival has the same fucking line up. Bonnaroo (sp), Coachella, ACL, and slowly SXSW is becoming almost like some corporate commodity of "cool" "underground" music that sells. I've been OBSESSED with finding music lately, I think the thought of graduating and getting the FUCK out of hawaii FOREVER is making me SOO pumped to see live music--and to start playing shows of my own.

But seriously, why can't a music festival put together a 3 day long festival of eclectic, quality music? I mean, I like some of these bands, don't get me wrong, but there's no more choice, diversity, or even creativity with music festivals now-a-days.

"underground" music isn't just folk and indie pop, there's an entire world out there.

you guys, if i don't do something with music, I'm going to die.

I'm thinking about remixing this song:

0:50-1:15. i like the marching band aspect, gonna sample it :)

4 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

food i can't eat in hawaii, food i need to eat stat [30 Dec 2009|03:39pm]
All I can think about is food.
I think I was so emotional on Christmas because that was like day 5 of me not eating to my satisfaction (and being sick, tooth infection, day before my period). Now since I got my tooth removed, yet i'm not sick, its TORTURE. Here, I fondly think of all the food I want to eat, and if you want to eat it too then tell me, and we shall indulge.

Salad and breadsticks w/cheese ravioli from olive garden. Don't let me forget to order the italian cream sodas. I like orange and vanilla.

cheese pizza with hickey and edgar at Star Pizza. I will only go with at least these two men in tow.

buffalo burgers at Bubbas, happy hour for $0.75 lonestars. maybe I should ask Lloyd and joseph to come cuz I haven't seen Joseph yet.

Chicken gyros at Niko Nikos

julie's mom's cooking

Indian buffet and ras malai! i need to find a good place for chicken tikka masala. Bombay Brasserie has delicious buffet but its at $12 a pop. Can anyone afford to go?

Raging Cajun - 4302 Richmond Ave, i don't think i've been here, but i really desire bourbon chicken before i leave, and this got good reviews.

Croque Monsierrues at the french bakery in the village. Maybe I'll take my Granddad here

Spaghetti at Fred's Italian Corner

Vietnamese sandwiches, extra buttery

Am I missing anything?
5 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[18 Nov 2009|04:09pm]
I finally have a group of friends who resemble my Houston friends. They have similar views and interests and in general are very pleasant to be around. It's been a while since I've met people whom i not only trusted, but actually have fun with and share creativity and ideas.

Unfortunately, Kristin is moving to California in May. Jeff is moving to Washington in May. Ben is moving to Colorado in May. And my bestest companion, Jake, is moving to Canada. Sadly, our urge for getting far away from this place is similar as well, and I'm so sad to be stuck here for another 2.5 months with not even a soul to talk to.

I got rather upset yesterday because the school has fucked me over, so instead of 1 summer session, I need to take both to graduate, even though i'll have enough credits to graduate after the first session. but i suppose being here completely alone will help me gather up my things and say goodbye to..well...nothing. a silent exit.

But i still can not believe I'll be living in Houston once again in August.
3 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[09 Nov 2009|03:19pm]
also does anyone have netflix? i think it could be fun to see what other people are watching. i think i'm asking the 5 of you who still use lj.
5 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[23 Oct 2009|11:15pm]
got internet back today after a month hiatus.

i found a lump in my right breast, so i have to get that checked out asap.

i knew these things were ticking timebombs! :(
1 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

dream [11 Oct 2009|06:49pm]
hovering in space, I float aimlessly away from earth. I have been given a mission, but I feel unsure what exactly I'm supposed to do. The mission is so top secret that they were even vague telling me.

I'm in space, but I'm not in a shuttle. I'm floating freely. I am supposed to find a space current but I struggle with maneuvering through nothing. Finally i find a suction and i am zoomed and sput out thousands of mile away. I see saturn in the distance and i make my way (quickly, to my surprise) to the planet. the blue planet fades into detailed pinks and purples, but the landscape is bare except for two things i see as i make landing: there's a blue green cathedral (not one of earthly architecture, but it was a brilliant hue of unnatural colors, glowing like radiation oozing from every atom of the structure, like a dmt trip...) and an organic, yet glassy structure. it resembled a banyan tree in the sense of separate vines twirling creating to make a massive and sprawling tree, but this was no tree, and i wasn't even sure if it was alive or not.

I enter the cathedral ever so slowly, approaching as if expecting it to be full of a threatening species. The heavy doors creak open, a magnificent boom echoes through the chamber of the now apparent empty room. The ceilings must have been 50 stories high, the echo carried on for a couple minutes.

no seats.
no people.
no forms of life, nothing, it was a room with nothing. yet it did not look like ruins, it looked used, but by what? and what was i looking for? I see a beautiful stain glass window, but its not glass, nor a window. its just another unnaturally glowing radation of something. but it looked menacing.

a doorknob glowed green in the distance. It looked warm, but it as well looked extremely displeasing, the way it pierced through the shadows of the dark and gloomy alien structure was unsettling. Still, there was no where else to go, so i clutched my fists tightly and walked towards the green. I walked for what must have been 5 or 10 minutes, my heart continued to increase it's rate because this is what i came to saturn for. Upon closer investigation, I noticed the green was being emitted from a complicated chamber that seemed almost archaic in nature, yet the complexity of the technology was enough to make me sweat. as the door creaked open, I felt my heart drop and the terror I felt woke me up.

I have no idea what was in that room, but the feeling i had when i woke up was something i hope i never feel again.
1 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[28 Sep 2009|01:36pm]
i already knew i hated hawaii since 2/3rds of my friend have left and the other third has boyfriends and girlfriends or do a lot of drugs, but i realized that i REALLY hate hawaii because i was the SHIT freshman and sophomore year, in the sense that i could walk down campus and literally had to say hello to the majority of people i passed by because i knew everyone, and that pleased me because of the community camaraderie.

now, 4 years later, i'm surprised if i know anyone. everyone, even just the familiar faces, have left or graduated. campus now is a fresh new crop. I am beginning to hate impermanence when i used to thrive on it. meeting people now is mundane and superficial, i know none of these people will be my friend in a year.

having only one friend remaining from the original massive circle that you see almost regularly (only because we live together) is really depressing. and its not even because she wants to see me or hang out, its cuz i'm now her roommate. when she's home she mostly talks of her new friends whom i have no idea who they are which is beginning to reeeeally bum me out.

I see everyone rarely.

gosh, i'm so lonely.

2 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[28 Sep 2009|01:32pm]



new city! new city! new city!
ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[22 Sep 2009|12:39pm]
i cant believe we're already approaching mid semester. I have a grad session soon, but i'm feeling kind of lost on what to dow ith my life.

i could:
NOT rush to graduate, spend 2 more semesters (no summer school)
utilizing the extra semester to "study abroad" which then I would graduate overseas and could start my RTW trip for cheaper in a foreign country (rtw tickets are cheaper if you exploit another country's currency).
I won't get to walk but i would get 6 months in a foreign country for a lot cheaper, and spend another 6-8 months on the road.

Rush to graduate, spend july-dec in houston, working, saving money, chilling with my friends, burning man, then jan-dec on the road then trying out a new city (Montreal, Vancouver, Portland, Philadelphia, NYC, or whereever jake is)

i think there's more....but i just got a hawaiian punch so i'ma gonna drink it
1 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[20 Sep 2009|02:26pm]
trying to manage my money is hard when i'm about to graduate and i know my flow of cash is going to stop when that happens, but there are so many trips i want to go on! i'm going to NY for the first week of christmas holidays, and i'm SOOO excited cuz i've never been.
after NY, i want to go to Amsterdam with the Houstoners, and I want to go to Burning Man with the Hawaiiravers. I don't know if i have money for both, especially since the trips would happen within 3 months of each other. I'm in Money Despair! A MONEY PIT

I'm leaning towards Burning Man because I'll hit up Amsterdam on my RTW trip...but I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask my parents for some help? Maybe I can persuade the Houstoners to go to Burning Man with me, then we can postpone the Amsterdam trip for a semester and everyone can do both? (I plan on leaving for my RTW trip in January 2011 I think)

I dunno. I guess this is stuff I'll mention again when I go home for Christmas. I want my Houston friends to do everything with me forever.
2 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[18 Sep 2009|02:01pm]
I had some friends over and we were sitting in the living room eating dinner. We heard someone enter and all assumed it was jacquelyn. the water was running so we were debating if she had came home and jumped in the shower, but eitan said he wanted to say hi. he got up and turned the corner and backed into the room again slowly. he said "that's not jacquelyn, its like a hapa or something.." and sat back down. I assumed it was jacquelyn's friend and i was like "is he eating our food?" and he said "i duno, maybe?" and i got upset. Jake got up and went to investigate, and said no one was here. we thought it could have been a ghost, since someone did die in our duplex and what not, so we were just freaking each other out. I asked eitan what he looked like and he said he looked hawaiian or mixed wearing brown and a hat. at that moment, outside our window, there was a hawaiian guy wearing brown and a backwards hat walking buy. we stopped, he stopped. we glared, he glared. he pointed at eitan, i sat down to avoid any more eye contact, and eitan said he pointed at him for like a minute, leaned in, and continued walking. eitan said that was definitely the guy.

upon further investigation, nothing was taken, it seemed like he just needed to wash his hands? however, backdoor locked forever now
2 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[16 Sep 2009|03:14pm]
8-bit dance party tonight!!!! i am actually excited about something for once!
ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[16 Sep 2009|01:17pm]
for the first time since freshman year, campus seems to be more alive. Enrollment has gone up this year (despite reduced classes and budget cuts). I saw 4 pregnant girls yesterday alone, a family of mongoose (a mama and her 3 babies) boys tight rope walking across palm trees, hammocks, and other things i can't think of right now. I don't know why, but these things all get me super pumped for grad school?
ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[14 Sep 2009|03:58pm]
Menehune attacks again! this time my cellphone is the victim. I know it has to be forces of pygmies because i did practically nothing saturday night, minus a nap that would have given them a perfect time to strike! As i have not smoked a cigarette in 2 weeks, this gives them no chance to strike on a casual encounter, thus they waited for the only nap of the ceennntuuury.

This could also be a supernatural force because a dentist hung himself somewhere here, not too long ago. I'm not sure if it's in the other duplex or if it's in our makeshift living room.
ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[10 Sep 2009|04:03pm]
if i weren't so lazy, i'd start a war against convenience, it's the true source of cultural and moral degradation. i'm just a victim! I promise!
1 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

WEEK ONE [29 Aug 2009|09:19pm]
Dominate conversations by ranting. Draw cannons shooting sperm into vaginas. Compliment strangers on their selection of food. Sit next to the weirdest people in class. Play fallout all fucking night. Masturbate with people in the room--STEALTH.
3 pǝʇɐuıɯɹǝʇxǝ| ǝsɐq ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇɐɹʇןıɟuı ǝɹɐ ɯoɥʍ sǝıɯǝuǝ ǝɥʇ ǝʇɐɹǝʇıןqo

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]